Oh hey sup!? Gosh I'm so on top of this blog thing right? Haha NOT.
I suppose I haven't been all that inspired like my last posts. It's kind of hard to write about something better than a life revelation. I received quite a bit of positive feedback on that last post - made me feel special. I mean, it's awesome to make something meaningful for someone, but I'm pretty stoked if people actually read my words. Makes me feel somewhat relevant, I guess.
It's surprising to me how much life can change in a matter of months. I love LA, it's treating me well. I'm still back in the bay for winter break with one more week left. I'm ready to go back. My real friends here are actually pretty cool, I love them, but people change. We grow up. We mature. We discover who we really are and what we want in our lives. It's intriguing to me that even though I've barely been home a month, I'm dying to get back to Los Angeles. Back to my friends that I've become so attached to. They're my family. A new family. I've never experienced friendships that have come so naturally.
“There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future”
And the thing is - I don't care about the majority of the people here anymore. DGAF. That quote up there has never made more sense. The only real explanation for that, I guess, is that most of them don't matter. Why should they? I'm sure they matter to other people, or at least on a smaller scale, but they certainly don't matter to me like they did in high school or even a year ago. It's sad how small the list is of people I actually wanted to see this break. I almost feel guilty, even though I have no reason to maintain fake friendships. I'm not going to ask to hang out with someone unless I genuinely want to right? It would be a waste of time.
2010. A new year - a new decade. Resolutions? Maybe. I mean, we've all got the "lose 20 lbs, get in shape, be a better person" bullshit right? Right. It's true though, I do want to get in shape. Need to. And I'm trying to be a better person even though I'm not really sure what that means. Staying positive is important. Staying true to self. It's tricky because I tried doing the whole "be a better person" thing a while ago and I was too damn nice. People took advantage. People that I have cut out of my life - another resolution? Oh oh oh and exciting news - I'm going to dye my hair a dark brown this year. Drastic change. I wore a dark brown wig on Halloween and the positive responses were phenomenal. I was going to do it this week, but I'm not sure when I'll get the guts to do it. It will happen at some point in 2010. If not this month, I will wait until some time after my April birthday. I think I want to be blonde for my birthday.
God I miss LA.
Don't get me wrong, I love San Francisco - it has this romantic quality that Los Angeles lacks. My heart will always be in San Francisco. There's just something about LA. Maybe it's because I've lived places that I couldn't wait to get out of so I just appreciate being somewhere I want to be. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the palm trees. Maybe it's being 5 minutes from the beach or always having something to do. LA isn't perfect and neither are the people - there's just something about it.
My apologies for this post, I didn't exactly have much direction - just felt like I had to update on life and living. Hope anyone reading this has a happy and healthy new year.
Carpe Diem.
Hakuna Matata.
Vivre Sa Vie.
